The Nomenclature

Posted: January 3, 2012 in Random Bluff

It’s easily one of your most important assets. Not many, nah, to be precise none of us realise how essential it is. It is something that has been yours since your birth (a few others might have the same one, but yeah still it’s ‘your’) , in some cases even before that. Its almost like your first ID into the human world. I am not even going to ask you guys to guess what it is ( like you bother anyway !!) . Its our NAMEs that am talking about.

I know, I must be completely jobless to be writing a blog about NAMES !! ( Dont worry, I am not, not yet..!! ). But seriously, did you ever wonder how the idea of naming people came into existence. And even when it did, how did they chose to name after some word or phrase or sound . What if the masterminds had decided to start naming with numbers. He he he, What a thought ?

Mom shouts at the sight of her mud clad son, “5643 ( Short for 5643.56 ) , Look what you’ve done to yourself ?! Huh!! “
The Advertisement replied , ” Dont worry, 637 hai na !! ”  ( ” Dont worry, 637 is here !! “)

Actually, we really don’t appreciate our identities much . It comes throughout your life. Even if you wanted it or not. You did not chose to have it. Your parents did. And by the time you decide that it does not sound like you , its too late. Sometimes you just dont connect to it. For example, Names like Elizabeth, Alexander, Marcus etc.., really don’t sound like an Engineer, Beautician or a Chef. I mean, imagine Alexander The Engineer !!! or Hercules the Sweeper..!!
But Yeah, there are some people who simply learn to live with it while some give a new meaning to it. Names like Aristrotle or Shakesphere ( or ‘Duryodhan’ and ‘Shakuni’ ) can not be dared to be used again ever ( unless you wanted your kid to grow up in a lifetime of mockery! ) .

Indian names are all the more interesting. The most common observation in the pattern of Indian boy names and girl names would be that, you find almost 99% of the girl names ending with long ‘a’ or ‘i’ or ‘e’ (alka, manyata, rashmi, jyoti etc.) and boy names ending with short ‘a’ or ‘n/m’ or short ‘h’ . Well this is mainly because in Sanskrit all the “स्त्रीलिंग ” (feminine) nouns end with vowels. Being one of the most revered language, Indians don’t try to mess with the norms. If they did, the name ends up confusing the gender ( Which does not make a very good ID !! ) .

As if this were not enough, we had the surnames attached too. And this is where you start looking beyond the person . This is where things start to go little further about the man, his origin, religion, language etc etc. A totally unneccesary addition. If you did want a fashionable second name , why not keep your fathers name instead or if your rebellious enough why not try your mothers name ?
Starting merely as a demand to identify a person , Names have taken different forms and shapes serving more than just the purpose of its existence. I doubt if the trend would ever change. But , Whatever the name you adorn, live a life that gives a meaning to your name rather than living to satisfy the bounds of your name . Add the suffix -ness or -ism to it and give your name a life of its own, a memory that’ll never die .

PS :- I spread Akshayism. what do you ?


Boy Meets Girl

Posted: October 29, 2011 in My Life, The One with a Twist

Yesterday, still on my vacation in Delhi I was sitting with three of my friends in Haldiram’s at Cannaught Place, eating my favourite Rasmalai, damn I just couldn’t resisit it, I know its fatty with bare minimum nutritious value, Still… :)

The place was almost empty, leave apart some guys-only groups and some random average looking couples. And there were these three people sitting next to us on a table… An Uncle, an Aunty and THE Girl… the parents were all tensed up and silent, and the girl was just texting someone non stop, no one uttered a single word. A few moments later few more people joined in… couple of Uncles, two more aunties and THE Boy, clad in a white shirt, not so handsome… just average boy next door… pleasantries exchanged… The girl had excused herself for the washroom just before this new lot of middle aged people walked in.
Both pair of parents were busy impressing the other. THE Boy was being interviewed in a civilized manner, education, hobbies, this and that… and then walked in in THE Girl… more pleasantries, THE Boy looked at THE girl, THE girl looked at THE boy, and there was this divine connection, speechless… faces turning Red, all middle aged hearts surrounding them were ready to give their blessings to the ‘to-be’ couple.
Now it was the Boy’s turn to do the Texting, nervously… spreading the good word to his friends..!!
Strangely, they didn’t look up at each other after that one ‘divine’ connection.
As per trend after 10-15 minutes the grown ups all stood up to go and place the order (its a self service restaurant) leaving the ‘potential’ couple in each other’s company…

The couple was left there smiling at each other, they talked a little bit, which unfortunately we weren’t able to hear (good for them :D ). Anyways the parents returned some 15 minutes later with the eatries, and we concentrated on our rasmalais too..!!

Once done, the Girl’s Dad asked the Boy “To beta kaisi lagi Leena tumnhe” [“So, Son how do you find our girl.. you like her?”]

Seriously what the heck was he expecting to hear back… even if he liked her he won’t say on face, well at least thats what they show in movies :D , well I must say the Boy was indeed smart he elbowed his mum with a grim face, gazes exchanged, and luckily the Auntyji got it… “Guptaji hume to sab accha laga, baki ghar par thoda discuss karke aapko batate hain” [“Well Sir we liked your family and your daughter, we just need to go home and discuss and we’ll let you know”]
Sharp mommy I must say… similar thing happened with my elder brother’s friend once, the girl happened to be a bit healthy (read 75 kgs) compared to his lean structure (65 approx), and unluckily his mum got the elbow all wrong, thinking it a nod of approval, congratulating the girl’s parents instantly, what happened in the following days deserves a separate blog post for itself.

Anyways coming back to our Boy and Girl, the Girl’s dad insisted to pay the Bill and they left again with some more pleasantries..

Once they were gone the uncles and aunties surrounded the Boy, all with close-up smiles

“Beta kaisi lagi ladki, tumhari mummy ko aur mujhe to badi pasand aayi” [“So how was the Girl,, me and your mum find her really lovely”]

“Family bhi acchi hai” [“Even the Girl’s family is good too”] the mother added adjusting her specs.
And the Boy was smiling now, shaking his head

“Beta sharmao mat bolo bhi” [“Don’t feel shy, come on say it”] Added the Uncleji accompanying the family.

All the eyes were on the BOY… even the few people sitting nearby were looking eagerly.

“Papa aap vo mere dost ko jante ho… Sahil” [“Hey Dad, have you met that friend of mine… the guy named Sahil”]

“Haan vahi garments shop wale Gupta ji ka ladka” [“Yeah the one who’s dad owns a Garments Store”]
“Haan vahi, ye Leena usi Sahil ki Girl friend hai, ladki dekhne jane se pehle kam se kam photo to manga liya karo”
[ “yeah the same one, this Girl is the same guy’s Girlfriend, At least do ask for the Girl’s picture before arranging a meeting next time” ]

And the four of us burst into a fit of Laughter, the Boy stared us for a moment, winked and then started grinning himself… the parents were all staring.. open mouthed..!!

P.S. Strange coincidences do occur in life..!!
P.P.S. If you are a parent with a son/daughter eligible for marriage, please don’t arrange to meet up at crowded public places, you might end up being the subject of some whimsical blogger like me.. :D

The Journey Back Home..!!

Posted: October 22, 2011 in My Life, Why Me ??

Ahhaa I’m back in Delhi, exactly after 2 months and 12 Days… and God knows how much I longed for this much awaited vacation, this is festive season and even a thought of staying away from my family at this time of the year is horrifying enough.
Indeed this time it’s different, got the heavenly wordings from my manager before leaving “Go and enjoy your vacations”, I’m damn sure something big is lined up as soon as I’m back… well we’ll see to that.

And as usual it was all hectic for me… stuffed my bag just in the morning, locked my door, forgot the laptop charger inside, came back from ground floor, and to add to the trouble the elevator wasn’t working.
Well the travel was engaging and interesting, came across  the most sober, gentle and down to earth IIM graduate (calcutta passout, oops Kolkata), he’s a Program Manager in Microsoft only, a 2007 passout from my own alma mater DCE, maybe that was the reason he was that cool with me, indeed he was warm in mannerism, someone i’ll definitely like to meet again.

And I had a rickety flight too… the take off itself reminded me of the Pilot Episode of Lost, plus all the turbulence, the dimming lights and the panic stricken crew… loved the tension in there, later got to know that the co-pilot was a women (no offence ladies… :P ). Unlike my usual self, this time I had a little chat with my co-passenger, some guy from Infosys, he was working on this ‘I Diya’ B plan, which was indeed Impressive. And to my surprise almost 50% of the on-boarded people were from Microsoft, there were too many familiar faces, Windows 7 phones, and all the Red backpacks with the Microsoft Logo, and not only Microsoft, rest 30% contribution was definitely from Deloitte, the Dell Laptops stuffed in ugly HP bags.

And then this Metro Station at Rajeev Chowk (a.k.a. Cannaught Place)… the security guys, took my luggage aside, the typical haryanvi accented guys, while my brother was already waiting for me at Kashmiri Gate, how much I cursed the decision of not asking him to come and pick me up from Airport, well what was done was done. And the cop began in his own ruthless tone, well the Delhi Police is notorious for this.

“Haan bhai ke hai isme, koi electrical samaan hai ke?”
“Umm… nothing that I know of, just  some clothes and gifts”
“koi baat ni, hum dekh lenge… ure ne aaja, khol de bag”
< Here joins in the Sub Inspector, or whoever he was had two stars on this uniform>
“ke baat hai harbir… ??”
“Is bhai ke bag me kuch samaan hai”
<Oh hell It’s a bag , it will obviously have ‘some stuff’>
“Haan to khulva le”
<How much I wanted to tell him my brother is a Section Officer in Home Ministry #WeIndians… :P >
“Kahan te aaya bhai”
“Err… hyderabad”
“Tere bag pe to  airport ka tag hai, metro me chada hai tu Rajeev chowk te”
“Actually I had to meet a friend”
<By this time the junior cop was done with an autopsy of my Travelling bag, Inside out>
“Is gift wrap me ke hai”
“Biscuits and cookies”
“Hyderabad te tu bas ‘Biskut’ leke aaya hai”
and the three of them (by this time one more had joined in) had this big laugh.
“Well there is this famous karachi bakery in hyderabad its muffins and cookies are very famous”

By this time the constable opened up aside zipper and brought out the magnetic card reader I was carrying.

All breaks on their laughter, the senior one spoke ” Yu ke hai chore… detonator “
WTF… did those morons even know what a detonator looks like..
“Well this isn’t a detonator, its just a simple card reader, i use it to connect to my office network and do a remote login on office machines”
I guess, the technicality pissed them off a big time.
“Andar aaja chore, checking lo re iske”
Now this was getting bit too much… I was irritated too…
“I’m an engineer and I work in a pretty big company, you better be careful”
“Haan to engineer hai to checking na lein teri”
Now it was way too much, I was agitated all i did was pick out my phone and called my brother, to hell with the cellular networks… I didn’t had a signal.. now what..??
The cops were even more pissed off by this new gesture of mine, and I was dreading all those movies, where the cops pick up the innocents, and kill them off in fake encounters… no I’m just kidding, I was just irritated at their stupidity.
It was bit chaotic so some suited up metro guy just came in, was in mid forties, looked quite decent, he asked what all that fuss is about, I tried to explain it to him, luckily he was smart, he smiled and called the Chief Security Officer.

The Security Officer came in, good lord his cousin was an Engineer and he knew about Card Readers and the Remote Login, he smiled and patted my shoulder..
“Sorry kid, but you know… the kind of eligibility criteria we’ve for being a cop, they are not bad, just ignorant, So where do you work”
By this time all hopes of expecting an enlightened cop in Delhi was gone..
“I mean Which Company ?”
“Ohh cool… kinect was great hit, windows phone was dismal though how’s windows 8 coming… ? “
I was dumbfounded… this dude did know all about it (and he wasn’t some ACP, just a sub inspector) , and was able to communicate in fluent English too… he started it I didn’t :D

Guess all cops aren’t stone..!!
I had a small chat with him for a few minutes, and moved towards the metro line to Kashmiri Gate..
In and all it proved out to be a happening day..!!

Back home, as expected I was greeted with a small and affectionate lecture on the state of my hair… “acche gharon ke bacche aise baal nahi rakhte”, the battle continued till today and finally I got the nod of approval after this ‘no-pony’ treaty. Plus my mum cooked some wonderful stuff for me, home cooked food is one of the biggest things I miss in Hyderabad :(. The MTNL broadband connection sucks even more now. Well as for another update on vacations, tomorrow I have this school get together to attend and I’m really looking forward to meet some old pals, some of which I haven’t seen since years.
Plus its festive season so I guess Monday will be spent in shopping only… :)

Let Go…

Posted: October 16, 2011 in So called Poetry
They say good things come to an End
Wonder if it was good or not, But
The time’s finally come
What I’m doing can’t be undone
My patience has been tested
For years, I’m feeling wasted
You gave your card, asked me to call
Expecting someday, somewhere I’ll fall
I may have my problems
But with you around, I cannot solve them
May be you are an Inspiration
Or a myth, or an illusion
The situation’s been this; I get stuck
And without you nothing struck
Times are changing and I gotta learn
The tricks that make an adult firm
Don’t shut the world from my eyes
For then I will not be wise
See through my perspective
And don’t be too protective
For I can think of nothing better
Than be the family trend-setter
Change’s the only constant
Trust me, this a’int just a stunt
Something in your heart will stir
If not, lemme make it a bit clear
Let Go..!!

I want to be..

Posted: October 10, 2011 in So called Poetry

I want to be a man

Who can drive a brazen maruti
Next to a blazing Ferrari Enzo

Who can say aloud sorry
ready to be blown

Who can make eye-contact
With the President

Who can stand strong
When naked

Who can give opinion to a Harvard graduate
Even if his degree disappears

Who can pose proudly
Next to Mr. Olympia.

Who can hug the hurt and needy
those whom the world mocks

Regardless of which lowly position I am in
I want to be able to say
To people in higher position
that these stratifications are based on our ephemeral values.

In fact, there is no difference
Between your conviction and mine.

I have lived my life
Devoted to my conviction.
And thus, I can stand proudly in front of you.

Some six years ago, I read this book “Out are the Lights”, got it from my Brother’s Girlfriend, a crumpled 80’s paperback with yellow pages. Some B Grade horror, Boy..!! I loved that… creepy story line, no supernatural ghosts, just humans capable of doing grotesque crimes, scary sequences, lovable character, especially the female lead Connie…
Since then Laymon have been one of my favourite trash authors. Just like those Zombie and Slasher movies, the gory, splattering horror has its own charm. No class, no place in the literature, but once or twice every year I pay my homage to them, and for this Laymon is my source (At least until now).
Well coming to ‘The Cellar’, I got it from flipkart for some 550 bucks (with approx. 250 pages, it’s more than a Rs. 2/per page affair). When I was in college (read ‘unemployed’) pages per rupee used to be a significant factor before buying any book… leave the exceptions like Rushdie, Amitav Ghosh, Gresham, Paulo Coelho etc. Coming to the point, right from the beginning it disappoints.
It opens with a beast house, a house notorious for some 11 murders by some beast, then this single mother running away from her Ex-husband, a convicted paedophile. She runs away and enters the town of the beast house, meets the new love of his life, the guy called Jud (short for Judgement), the visit to beast house, the new found love is hell bent on killing the beast, the Ex-Husband tortures, murders and rapes on his way to chase his wife (wondering why she decided to flee only on the day he’s freed… I mean she had 6 whole years for that, why the hell only on getting the news), anyways, the lover boy goes on beast house expedition, finds an old diary about a women and her pet beast, or the beast and her pet women… whatever… crap..  well the Ex-Husband comes in, fights the new found love, as usual the lover-boy wins, decides to put the Bad Guy in the beast house… ends up dead himself… and the lady and her daughter? Well the last page tells their fate… I won’t spoil it for anyone still interested..!!
After the plot the biggest setback are the characters, The Ex-Husband Roy, he kills without reason, and emerges more as a frustrated loser then a terrifying killer on the loose (Compared to the similar Husband on hunt in Stephen King’s “Rose Madder’ he’s too naive and fails in creating an impact), and The women Donna, She has no class (unlike Connie in ‘Out are the Lights’), I mean the first day in new town and she dates this guy, common, and her daughter, somewhat aged 12, She’s Slow, or we can say retard… no no “Special” will be better term… (Don’t want SRK’s son suing me now), Jud is umm… Stupid, I never got satisfied with his reasons to kill the beast. In all no one impresses, not on any front.
Before ordering the book, I read a few reviews on Amazon, and a lot of people have mentioned the climax as gory, fantastic, most unpredictable, blah blah… yeah it is ‘unpredictable’ but sorry I’m not impressed… I’ve expected better.
Conclusion: gross, crap, pathetic, No more Richard Laymon for the time being… at least not for a year… 🙂
My Rating: 1/5 

I hate being sick, specially being down with ‘nonfatal’ sickness. And currently I’m just more than ‘kind of’ sick… This common cold, which is really ‘common’ for me (every couple of months I’ve an encounter with the bitch..), plus this slight fever… 100, 100.5, 99.5, 100.5.. and constant headache, its kind of the worst feeling ever .I’m feeling dizzy, and yuck unhygienic… and unfortunately the doctor has asked me to avoid shower in evening… 😦
Plus I had to go to office… 😦 and trust me when you have to spend time in a peaceful office, full of clattering of the keyboard keys and some discussions, it never lets you down in making your presence felt…. aaaakkchhuuuuu..!! followed by a couple more… no matter how much you rub your nose… no respite from it..

And the icing on the cake are meetings you have to attend, breathing through your open mouth… making your manager feel that you’re dumbstruck with awe and fascination on hearing his thoughts.. “Some of you are left open mouthed after hearing my ideas, please oblige us by closing them”. damn you.. running nose… and then you have to ask someone about some work you are stuck on… you enter the cabin of some gentleman, peaceful and calm, and he’s polite enough to explain the solution to your problem… and just then you have this tingling sensation… you hold your breath.. no use, wahaa you’ve a handkerchief… oops forgot it on your seat… NOW WHAT NOW WHAAA… AAAKChooo… (I almost sneezed and blabbered even I don’t know what in varunkum’s cubicle today… sorry sir if you noticed :(, I wasn’t myself…). I don’t know any embarrassment can match this..

Or well… being in middle of a design discussion, and like always.. all hells are breaking loose again.. you want to blow your nose… ( with a dynamite, and I guess a few might’ve done it, had there been any possibility of growing it back… well no one will like to live like a skeltor’s gaping nose for the rest of his life… ), and yeah you are in middle of a design discussion and want to blow your nose… and you are honest enough to call it out like…
“err… can I go out to blow my nose ?”
“you what” asks some gentle lady… and trust me its always a lady to ask this..
“can i go out to blow my nose”  and now you really start cursing yourself for being honest.. why the hell didn’ t I said I wana go to the loo… or just pretended a phone call.
“you want to blow what?”  here comes the pranksters..
and now you can’t hold it any longer…“I’M GOING OUT TO BLOW MY NOSE”
“phew… then go ahead who’s stopping you…”  the gentle lady comments amidst smiles and giggles from fellow team mates. and at these times I sincerely want her to be the next victim of this ‘common’ cold.
and then in 2 minutes later you are back… and the discussion proceeds, two minutes into it, and the trouble returns… and this time you can’t even say it out loud.. all you have to do is to bear it with few tissues, and god’s grace if you can contain it within 2-3 sneezes only.

And to worsen your situation, you get a cough too, yeah it comes in package… and it makes you feel so untidy and unhygienic, coughing, spitting out…eww… :(. Sometimes they (read managers) say one must make his presence felt in the team… for the past two days, I’m doing the same… coughing and sneezing.. breaking the silence, making people look out for me while walking (obviously to avoid me), and yeah how can’t I be a team player in a condition like this… I’ve transmitted the viruses to my colleague, who sits next to me.. and to see her walking in the alley cuz she too was feeling “uneasy” was the only respite… at least I’m not the only one… 😉

P.S. Don’t you dare look down upon me as sick little kid, this post is jinxed. Before feeling pity on me… i just want you to know that the Gods (or Devils) of Running noses are watching ya..!!

Editing after 8 hours of posting:

P.P.S. Dr. Alka Sharma is already feeling that she’s ” also cming down wid smthing” after calling me a cry baby on Facebook… so don’t you dare laugh off the warning in P.S.

No Replies Needed

Posted: October 2, 2011 in Fiction of My Mind

It was a warm day, dull and cloudy but not raining, at 4 P.M. the world outside the dirty window pane is looking more dark than usual, but not gloomy, it was little cheerful, or at least she felt so because she was cheerful. Whatever be her name, the story teller either don’t know or don’t want to tell..
All the movies I’ve watched, all the novels I’ve read, failed to fail not to come true, even a little scene or a coincidence, she thought, deep inside her mind, engaged in her book.

A moment later,
A young man walked in, a family friend, with her brother to check upon the little baby her sister, a while ago, gave birth to. She was sitting by the table, reading, or wondering now, or just sitting…
After finishing their hellos, the visitors sat in chairs by the baby, their backs to the table. They were very occupied with the baby, they didn’t notice her staring at them, at ‘him’ to be specific.
He was wearing a light green shirt, and light brown pants. She couldn’t help to notice his new hair cut and the way he was smiling, nor could she help to notice how dashing and astonishing he was… or at least she felt so, or maybe the story teller felt so…

She forced herself back to focus on the book in her hands, she was reading but failing to follow the author with the exciting events that were about to take place, she was just reading and not following. They left earlier than she expected, and her sister was back afterwards, so she returned to her comfy room.

Months later,
She was the same, if stubborn then she remained the same, if sweet then that’s what she remained. -The story-teller has not gotten to know her well, so the story will be continued the same way it begun, no deep feelings, writing what is obvious to the eye.

One day, in the early morning, she woke up and made plans with her friend to go out. After doing what she usually did that very hour, and then she went to sit with her mother awhile.
“You know why do you keep yourself buried in that room of yours? Go visit your sister, go out with your friends, do what people are doing in your age!”
“What do ‘people at my age’ doing mom?”
“I don’t know. You’re the one who’s their age!”
“Well, I don’t know too. They’re all obsessive and shallow! All they care is what trends so called cool people are following, and what certain people think of them!”, She said that very passionately, then keeping her cool attitude, she continued, “You know I’ve got no interest in that!” And the story teller knew she was telling the truth..!!

“Yes, that’s why you keep at that little room and never go out.”
“Listen mom, it’s not bothering me, and neither should it bother you. Listen I’m going out with V today. So don’t wait for me at lunch.”
She went to her room to get ready, leaving her mother smiling to herself.

At a bench, she was sitting with her friend, they were talking and gossiping about recent events. Then, she noticed a guy, smiling at her, she suddenly realized that this was ‘the dashing, astonishing one’. Quickly she nodded and half smiled to him. He immediately understood her nod and changed his way.

A week later,
She received an anonymous message : “You’ll never know. But the possibility remains. It’s no great mystery who I am but I’ll remain unidentified maybe for long. And if you return I’ll know what I need to know from your eyes, No replies needed”, an hour before her flight took off to nowhere, or somewhere. She was confused, she tried to think who he was, now whether she knew who he was, the story-teller cannot say because a promise has been made to her to keep her ending, but she has given her permission to this part:

She enjoyed the first true love words she’s received in her life, she thought them to be perfect because they were from the heart and went straight forward to her heart..!!

Irrelevant Bullet Points

Posted: October 1, 2011 in My Life

I want to write. A lot. But something is stopping me. I feel bad, depressed, and nothing good is coming to my mind, have tried to write on a different things, but nothing is making sense these days. May be this is something what they call ‘Writer’s Block’. Moreover my speculations of abandoning this blog is scaring a hell lot out of me. I remember back in college a lot of my friends used to write a blog, or at least a diary, and now… everything is gone.
Getting nothing to pen down I think I will write irrelevant bullet points and try to get out of this… umm what to call… ‘Phase’ :

  • Been watching movies on HBO, Sony Pix, etc these days, have seen almost all of these before, still liking them.
  • Playing a lot of Online poker these days, up to the level of obsession… once even commented that poker is the ‘Best Game ever created by human race’.
  • We had some poker plans last night at Abhay’s place and I backed out at the last moment, stayed in office till midnight working on this new Windows 8 app me and Ravi are making. I think we’ve done some decent work on this comic book reader, only for the customer feedback to suggest something else.
  • I’m ‘available’ on yahoo chat after a long time and chatting with my schoolmate who is in London. How he became hard working after 12th is a puzzle that cannot be solved.
  • Forgot to call my mum last night, and she was way too freaked out… mums are melodramatic sometimes… period..!!
  • I’m listening to good music…. or at least I consider it Good.
  • I want to read. Non-fiction, preferably. I have read a lot and still want to read more… this hunger will never end.
  • Finally I have quit chocolates and Ice creams, will be working out regularly from now on…  <I’m not fat I’ll be Working out for muscles not to loose weight>
  • I’m fed up with people looking upto me, specially my college juniors. Maybe I’m good in a few things, still I’m just a simple guy, who happens to work at some good software company, and is kinda good at coding and algorithms.. the way they set their expectations from me, makes me feel nervous.
  • Since past three days hooked onto ‘Iron Maiden’ and ‘Porcupine Tree’ completely.
  • Won’t be doing any outdoor activity this weekend, just stretch my legs, relax, read a little and sleep… as much as I can.

I Spit On Your Grave is a revenge film at it’s finest and also a powerful take on feminism. It was there in my HDD for past two years, and the only reason I kept on delaying it is the fact that the movie has been marked as one of the most disturbing, sickening movies ever made. But finally last night after Chelsea’s yet another loss to Man U, I decided to give it a shot.. finally..!!
While many people find it hard to look past the brutality of the rape scenes- they are failing to realize the overall outcome of the film. So what if Roger Ebert called it the “worst film ever made”, he also gave two thumbs up to Speed 2: Cruise Control (which rarely anyone has seen, and those who did end up saying ‘I Spit on your Film’). Clearly the man is not to be trusted.
Coming to the plot – Jennifer is a writer working on her first novel in her rented summer home in some woodsy area. She meets a few nice townsfolk who seem pretty normal and really not all that backwoods-like. They aren’t even close to those in Deliverance which is probably what makes the rape scenes so unbelievably gruesome. Anyways- Jennifer settles into her summer home and one day while sunning in a canoe, two of the boys round her up with a motor boat and pull her canoe to the far off side of the lake. Here she is pulled from her boat and stripped and beaten then raped by the lead guy. After this she runs away- only to be met again by all the men who once again rape her. After getting away a 2nd time she tries to call for help once she reaches her home but is interrupted by-you guessed the men once more. Oooh and raped. Again… And the scenes are really brutal, disturbing and sickening.

After barely escaping with her life, Jennifer rebounds faster than any rape victim in the history of rape victims, and plots her revenge.

As I said before, what makes the rape scenes truly unsettling is that all the men appear to be quite normal. They aren’t toothless hicks who force grown men to oink like a pig before sticking it in their butt. They just truly believe that what they are doing is 100% A-OK. Even their conversation the night before while fishing never really spells out that they are going to rape someone.
What is even more unsettling is the fact that they let her go 3 times. After the first rape I kind of thought, “that’s it?” But then bam rape number two, and bam bam rape number three. And also the actress who plays Jennifer is extremely extremely convincing. You could truly feel her anguish and her screams almost ripped through your body.

Now the revenge sequences I thought were pretty damn good. Although I kind of questioned her decision to kill Matthew, but I suppose in the end it had to be done. He still did it and even though he was egged on, he did jump in on the fun a bit suddenly…so yeah I don’t trust him.

The best revenge and probably the best scene of the movie is the bathtub scene. The red of the blood mixed with all those bubbles is pretty impressive and almost gives Argento’s blood a run for his money- but not really because that would just be preposterous. Then the way Jennifer calmly locks the door and settles down in the chair to enjoy some nice classical music, with the guy screaming in the background…I just really thought that was well done.

My only real complaint about the film was how quickly she bounced back. And how she just took a bath afterwards and laid down in her bed. There is no way she could have known she was suppose to have been killed and that those men wouldn’t be back. It doesn’t entirely make sense that she wouldn’t jump in her car right away and go to the cops immediately. The scenes after that- her taking a stroll in the meadow, and her continuing to write her novel are kind of like….ummmmm hello? You got raped? A lot. But I suppose it’s speaking to her strong character as a woman and her abitlity to move on with her life and not let what happened to her destroy her as a person and all that. It still makes me raise a “I don’t think this makes any sense” eyebrow.

The great thing about this movie is that you are always always on Jennifer’s side. Even when you see that the gas station guy has kids and a wife you never for once feel sorry for him. You might feel a little sorry for Matthew- but when Jennifer has had her last word you truly feel empowered as well. The revenge sequences weren’t some cheap way to get people to watch a horror movie and go wild over violence and blood. They were necessary to the film and it’s overall impact is a strong one. Jennifer comes away from the movie as someone who has literally whacked her rapists in the balls. Yes, she uses her sexuality to appeal to the men in the end but that is what they deserve- because nothing is worse than getting a boner and then having it cut off. Or so I’m told..!!