Archive for the ‘Why Me ??’ Category

The One With the Nomination

Posted: January 28, 2012 in My Life, Why Me ??

My rather slow response to my Versatile Blogger nomination!

Apart from academics, I guess this is the first nomination I’ve got for something, and so far I’ve been nominated thrice. Well finally people find me worthy of something, a Versatile Blogger nomination, despite all the grammatical errors… damn I so much wish to see the face of my high school English teacher, she used to hate me so much, well the feelings were mutual… 🙂

Anyways, when I was notified of the award for the first time a couple of months back by Rhyming Med Student , my first reaction was to search and search in an attempt to find out its origin and determine if it was legitimate all ? What makes it so special if everyone gets them by the sheer fact that when 1 person receives the award, they nominate 15 more?  It’s like a pyramid scheme with nothing at stake.
But later I realized in the world full of Facebook ‘likes’, ‘retweets’ and ‘+1s’ this award allows us to spend some time and honor our fellow bloggers… It is a way to show that we respect them and we like what they have to say.

Well , I’m not a rule follower… generally, but I guess here I’ll try to stick to the rules, So the versatile blogger nomination require following rules to be followed:
1) Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them in your post;
2) share 7 random things about yourself;
3) pass the award on to 15 more bloggers that you enjoy;
4) post the versatile blogger logo in the post; and
5) contact the bloggers you have chosen to let them know that they have been selected! 

So, I’ll begin with a note of thanks to the fellow bloggers for nominating me:

1. The Rhyming Med Student
2. Ren
3. Radhika Gupta 

thank you for including me on your list!  If I could nominate the person who nominated me, you guys would be right at the top, specially Ren, her blog is indulging, witty and innocent. She shares all things that she loves, hates, goes through… an adorable blog in my opinion.

Now, for the 7 random things about me:

1. I’m a book worm, I can pass any concert, party, treat, movie, sport for reading any piece of writing I love. I’ve read LOTR at least a dozen times, and still spend most of my leisure time laying in my bed, reading. And to add.. I hate e book readers, tried both kindle and ipad but nothing beats the smell of a hard cover and the sound of flipping pages.
2. I’m a foodie (veg though) and in particular, I love Rasmalai , I can never have enough of it, sometimes even dream of it!!
3. This is my third blog, and in past I’ve deleted my two blogs in stupid fits of anger (poor lifeless creatures 🙂 victimized of someone else’s deeds), and each time I end up dropping a mail to wordpress support asking for the “Ways to retrieve back my Blog”.
4.  I lie… not a lot, but yes time to time i do lie… to my friends, to my parents, had to lie to my teachers in college… I’ve lied to them all.. well maintaining a good guy image is a tough job these days 😀
5. I’ve a certain degree of fascination for mafia and gangsters, I love the Bad guy image. Pulp fiction, Scarface, Goodfellas, Godfather are some of my all time favorite movies , I hated it when Light Yagami died in Death Note.. screw the victory of good!!
6. I love to keep things in order, say my room, my wardrobe, folders in my laptop… everything in the right place, don’t know if there is a medical term for it, but it’s like an obsession. Anyways sometimes it helps, specially with the female folk, never feel short of compliments.
7. I’m scared of dogs… not a general fear, a nightmarish fear, and It was heightened when one random day my friend’s Dog called ‘Johnny’ decided to feast on my right arm, I didn’t visit his place for at least a couple of years after it, btw Johnny’s gone now (RIP)… and I’m at ease visiting him once again 🙂

And now for my nominations for the Versatile Blogger

1) Thought’s in Play – Sugandha’s vibrant blog, one of my favourite… It’s full of everything  – articles, stories, poems, one liners, jokes, bad jokes, thoughts, philosophy… a True Versatile Blogger!!

2) Life’s About Experiences – A sweet ‘good girl’ blog, always optimistic, positive and humble.

3) Snigdha’s Blog – I like it for the honesty of it, all emotions right from heart, plus she reads (I guess a lot) too..!!

4) Bindu Blogs – funny and ruthless, got a great eye for the smallest things you can find humor in.

5) Inspired – Poetry right from heart, still wonder who’s behind the inspiration for ‘zave-inspired’ 🙂

6) Akinyiviv – She simply deserves it..!!

7) Meet APSC – Wish he write more often, an itsty bitsy writer… barely posts anything, still love his posts.

8) It’s My Thoughts – Princess Laila, that’s how she’s known, love her blog.

9) World of Dreams“Mon journey au zenith du monde” Really a versatile one, from poems, to reviews to personal musings… I love his blog, but like few others mentioned above, off late he’s neglecting his blog too 🙂

 

Well, I couldn’t think of a total 15, seems like another rule in the breaking… 🙂

The Journey Back Home..!!

Posted: October 22, 2011 in My Life, Why Me ??

Ahhaa I’m back in Delhi, exactly after 2 months and 12 Days… and God knows how much I longed for this much awaited vacation, this is festive season and even a thought of staying away from my family at this time of the year is horrifying enough.
Indeed this time it’s different, got the heavenly wordings from my manager before leaving “Go and enjoy your vacations”, I’m damn sure something big is lined up as soon as I’m back… well we’ll see to that.

And as usual it was all hectic for me… stuffed my bag just in the morning, locked my door, forgot the laptop charger inside, came back from ground floor, and to add to the trouble the elevator wasn’t working.
Well the travel was engaging and interesting, came across  the most sober, gentle and down to earth IIM graduate (calcutta passout, oops Kolkata), he’s a Program Manager in Microsoft only, a 2007 passout from my own alma mater DCE, maybe that was the reason he was that cool with me, indeed he was warm in mannerism, someone i’ll definitely like to meet again.

And I had a rickety flight too… the take off itself reminded me of the Pilot Episode of Lost, plus all the turbulence, the dimming lights and the panic stricken crew… loved the tension in there, later got to know that the co-pilot was a women (no offence ladies… :P ). Unlike my usual self, this time I had a little chat with my co-passenger, some guy from Infosys, he was working on this ‘I Diya’ B plan, which was indeed Impressive. And to my surprise almost 50% of the on-boarded people were from Microsoft, there were too many familiar faces, Windows 7 phones, and all the Red backpacks with the Microsoft Logo, and not only Microsoft, rest 30% contribution was definitely from Deloitte, the Dell Laptops stuffed in ugly HP bags.

And then this Metro Station at Rajeev Chowk (a.k.a. Cannaught Place)… the security guys, took my luggage aside, the typical haryanvi accented guys, while my brother was already waiting for me at Kashmiri Gate, how much I cursed the decision of not asking him to come and pick me up from Airport, well what was done was done. And the cop began in his own ruthless tone, well the Delhi Police is notorious for this.

“Haan bhai ke hai isme, koi electrical samaan hai ke?”
“Umm… nothing that I know of, just  some clothes and gifts”
“koi baat ni, hum dekh lenge… ure ne aaja, khol de bag”
< Here joins in the Sub Inspector, or whoever he was had two stars on this uniform>
“ke baat hai harbir… ??”
“Is bhai ke bag me kuch samaan hai”
<Oh hell It’s a bag , it will obviously have ‘some stuff’>
“Haan to khulva le”
<How much I wanted to tell him my brother is a Section Officer in Home Ministry #WeIndians… :P >
“Kahan te aaya bhai”
“Err… hyderabad”
“Tere bag pe to  airport ka tag hai, metro me chada hai tu Rajeev chowk te”
“Actually I had to meet a friend”
<By this time the junior cop was done with an autopsy of my Travelling bag, Inside out>
“Is gift wrap me ke hai”
“Biscuits and cookies”
“Hyderabad te tu bas ‘Biskut’ leke aaya hai”
and the three of them (by this time one more had joined in) had this big laugh.
“Well there is this famous karachi bakery in hyderabad its muffins and cookies are very famous”

By this time the constable opened up aside zipper and brought out the magnetic card reader I was carrying.

All breaks on their laughter, the senior one spoke ” Yu ke hai chore… detonator “
WTF… did those morons even know what a detonator looks like..
“Well this isn’t a detonator, its just a simple card reader, i use it to connect to my office network and do a remote login on office machines”
I guess, the technicality pissed them off a big time.
“Andar aaja chore, checking lo re iske”
Now this was getting bit too much… I was irritated too…
“I’m an engineer and I work in a pretty big company, you better be careful”
“Haan to engineer hai to checking na lein teri”
Now it was way too much, I was agitated all i did was pick out my phone and called my brother, to hell with the cellular networks… I didn’t had a signal.. now what..??
The cops were even more pissed off by this new gesture of mine, and I was dreading all those movies, where the cops pick up the innocents, and kill them off in fake encounters… no I’m just kidding, I was just irritated at their stupidity.
It was bit chaotic so some suited up metro guy just came in, was in mid forties, looked quite decent, he asked what all that fuss is about, I tried to explain it to him, luckily he was smart, he smiled and called the Chief Security Officer.

The Security Officer came in, good lord his cousin was an Engineer and he knew about Card Readers and the Remote Login, he smiled and patted my shoulder..
“Sorry kid, but you know… the kind of eligibility criteria we’ve for being a cop, they are not bad, just ignorant, So where do you work”
By this time all hopes of expecting an enlightened cop in Delhi was gone..
“Hyderabad”
“I mean Which Company ?”
“Microsoft”
“Ohh cool… kinect was great hit, windows phone was dismal though how’s windows 8 coming… ? “
I was dumbfounded… this dude did know all about it (and he wasn’t some ACP, just a sub inspector) , and was able to communicate in fluent English too… he started it I didn’t :D

Guess all cops aren’t stone..!!
I had a small chat with him for a few minutes, and moved towards the metro line to Kashmiri Gate..
In and all it proved out to be a happening day..!!

Back home, as expected I was greeted with a small and affectionate lecture on the state of my hair… “acche gharon ke bacche aise baal nahi rakhte”, the battle continued till today and finally I got the nod of approval after this ‘no-pony’ treaty. Plus my mum cooked some wonderful stuff for me, home cooked food is one of the biggest things I miss in Hyderabad :(. The MTNL broadband connection sucks even more now. Well as for another update on vacations, tomorrow I have this school get together to attend and I’m really looking forward to meet some old pals, some of which I haven’t seen since years.
Plus its festive season so I guess Monday will be spent in shopping only… :)

I hate being sick, specially being down with ‘nonfatal’ sickness. And currently I’m just more than ‘kind of’ sick… This common cold, which is really ‘common’ for me (every couple of months I’ve an encounter with the bitch..), plus this slight fever… 100, 100.5, 99.5, 100.5.. and constant headache, its kind of the worst feeling ever .I’m feeling dizzy, and yuck unhygienic… and unfortunately the doctor has asked me to avoid shower in evening… 😦
Plus I had to go to office… 😦 and trust me when you have to spend time in a peaceful office, full of clattering of the keyboard keys and some discussions, it never lets you down in making your presence felt…. aaaakkchhuuuuu..!! followed by a couple more… no matter how much you rub your nose… no respite from it..

And the icing on the cake are meetings you have to attend, breathing through your open mouth… making your manager feel that you’re dumbstruck with awe and fascination on hearing his thoughts.. “Some of you are left open mouthed after hearing my ideas, please oblige us by closing them”. damn you.. running nose… and then you have to ask someone about some work you are stuck on… you enter the cabin of some gentleman, peaceful and calm, and he’s polite enough to explain the solution to your problem… and just then you have this tingling sensation… you hold your breath.. no use, wahaa you’ve a handkerchief… oops forgot it on your seat… NOW WHAT NOW WHAAA… AAAKChooo… (I almost sneezed and blabbered even I don’t know what in varunkum’s cubicle today… sorry sir if you noticed :(, I wasn’t myself…). I don’t know any embarrassment can match this..

Or well… being in middle of a design discussion, and like always.. all hells are breaking loose again.. you want to blow your nose… ( with a dynamite, and I guess a few might’ve done it, had there been any possibility of growing it back… well no one will like to live like a skeltor’s gaping nose for the rest of his life… ), and yeah you are in middle of a design discussion and want to blow your nose… and you are honest enough to call it out like…
“err… can I go out to blow my nose ?”
“you what” asks some gentle lady… and trust me its always a lady to ask this..
“can i go out to blow my nose”  and now you really start cursing yourself for being honest.. why the hell didn’ t I said I wana go to the loo… or just pretended a phone call.
“you want to blow what?”  here comes the pranksters..
and now you can’t hold it any longer…“I’M GOING OUT TO BLOW MY NOSE”
“phew… then go ahead who’s stopping you…”  the gentle lady comments amidst smiles and giggles from fellow team mates. and at these times I sincerely want her to be the next victim of this ‘common’ cold.
and then in 2 minutes later you are back… and the discussion proceeds, two minutes into it, and the trouble returns… and this time you can’t even say it out loud.. all you have to do is to bear it with few tissues, and god’s grace if you can contain it within 2-3 sneezes only.

And to worsen your situation, you get a cough too, yeah it comes in package… and it makes you feel so untidy and unhygienic, coughing, spitting out…eww… :(. Sometimes they (read managers) say one must make his presence felt in the team… for the past two days, I’m doing the same… coughing and sneezing.. breaking the silence, making people look out for me while walking (obviously to avoid me), and yeah how can’t I be a team player in a condition like this… I’ve transmitted the viruses to my colleague, who sits next to me.. and to see her walking in the alley cuz she too was feeling “uneasy” was the only respite… at least I’m not the only one… 😉

P.S. Don’t you dare look down upon me as sick little kid, this post is jinxed. Before feeling pity on me… i just want you to know that the Gods (or Devils) of Running noses are watching ya..!!

======================
Editing after 8 hours of posting:

P.P.S. Dr. Alka Sharma is already feeling that she’s ” also cming down wid smthing” after calling me a cry baby on Facebook… so don’t you dare laugh off the warning in P.S.

For a long time I was getting these mixed reviews for my hair… Ankita and Neha (my colleague) were leading the lobby that was proposing the hair cut and Big B and Neha (this one is my cousin sis) were favoring the disheveled, messed up hair all ready to be tied up in a pony soon…
And there was this third lobby too… the singleton set comprising of Ananya(another colleague), who was suggesting “Do as you wish… one should always follow his heart… ” (Now what if my heart wants to murder someone..?? ). Anyways I was supporting her ideology and was determined against a haircut…

Scene 1:  The One with Sameer in my Cubicle
May 9th, 2011, Monday, 3.00 PM

Place: My Cubicle

Enters Sameer (My colleague and Flatmate)

Sameer: Chal ***** kitna kaam karega, ho gaya aaja ka, ab kal karenge, chal baal katane chalte hain (guys can clearly identify the love he has for me from *****, the more we love someone the more the number of  ‘*’s  :))
Akshay: Arre kaam hai dost, and main nahi kata raha abhi
Sameer: Haan to kata mat na trim kara le thode, will look better, abhi sahi nahi lag rahe… trim kara lete hain
(Trick of Trade 1: when you want to trick someone into a trap, always be plural – ‘kara lete hain’ instaed of ‘kara le’, ‘kar lenge’ instead of ‘kar le’, ‘We’ll see’ instead of ‘You’ll have to bear it alone’   you do it and the poor guy will hand over his soul to you…)
Akshay:  arre but kaam hai abhi…
[Somehow he convinced me to leave early that day for the haircut…]

Scene 2: The One with the Style Director
May 9th, 2011, Monday, 7.00 PM
Place: Hakim’s Aalim – The Hair n Tattoo Lounge

Excited by the idea of getting a haircut in months, I booked an appointment with the Style Director himself (he charges the most) and thus began the ordeal:
Shampoo…
Conditioning…
Something…
Followed by more something….

and the Director was good to go with my hair… not yet..!!

here comes the rapidfire question answer round from the Style Director
1) Where are you working ?
2) Is a stylish Haircut allowed there ?
3) Which hair care products are you using ?
4) Do you have any allergies with chemicals ?
5) Are you a first time visitor or someone recommended you ?
5) Do yo want them long or short ?

By this time I was quite pissed off and impatient for the scissor to touch my scalp…
but no… not yet… here comes the clips…

Baa, Baa Style Director,
have you any Clips…?
yes sir yes sir…
a lot in the Slips
six for the left
six for the right
and four more for the hair
going down the line..!!

Finally done with the Clipping… the auspicious hour came… the Gods dropped flowers from the top… the birds chirped as he picked up his scissor and comb… and a few cuts here, a few cuts there… to share one thing… I really love it when someone caress my hair… makes me feel high and sleepy, so it happened… I reminded him once “Excuse me Mr. Director.. don cut it deep… I wanna have a pony.. ”  and surrendered it to his mercy… of course he’s the Style Director… he might be knowing better…
After approximately one hour he announced… Done  and started Styling with whatever is left there… a shadow of the past glory… 😛
And then he removed the mirror in front… kinda to surprise me with final look… 10 more miutes… 3-4 more sprays, soft wax, nourishing hair something, and I was done… he replaced the mirror back again… and I looked at my new avatar,  yeah I was certainly looking like an avatar… my own reflection was looking alien to me, my hair drenched in a dozen chemical sprays, decorated with a dozen… no may be a hundred termikes (or whatever you call hair longer to have spikes still made into spikes), some in the right and some in the left… I was totally screwed..
and the director ?? He was flaunting that victorious smile… Yes..!! I screwed one more normal looking guy, and transformed him into a Yo-man..!!

Hopelessly I looked at Sameer and all he could say was “Neeche chal ke theek karte hain”

Scene 3: The One with Gays in the Parking lot
May 9th, 2011, Monday, 9.00 PM

Place: Outside Hakim’s Aalim

You can spot me running around in the parking lot looking into parked cars’ and bikes’ mirrors, pressing my hair down with my hands… trying to sober down the style  that was imposed on my poor hair… making me look like some alien with a hundred antennas on his head.
Looking at my plight, sameer decided to help me, so amidst all the cars and people present there, he started caressing down my hair… <in public> and leaning against a car, he was half bent, fully concentrated trying to make my hair lie down with both hands in my hair, leaning over me…
It was when we heard a giggle… the words ‘OMG’, ‘gays’ ‘kiss’ and ‘cute’ and saw a bunch of chicks… laughing and going towards the Lift lobby… What a climax to the adventure… some random hot chicks branded us gays, of all things… gays 😦

A few feedbacks i got:
Sachin (My other Flatmate) – Youngistan lag rahe ho dost..
Mum – Ladkiyon jaise baal kyun kataye beta.. ??
Big B – Oye Chinka lag raha hai… <and he laughed to his death.. well not to his death but a lot :)>
My cook – Bhaiya aapne baal kataye hain… and he smiled… even my cook SMILED…!!
Manisha – hahahahahahaha…. tu na… hahahahaha… bas kya bataun kaisa lag raha hai… hahahahaha… main has has ke mar jaungi… hahahaha…   (Later I cursed her with a bald husband.. )

And this is how I ended up with the costliest, funniest haircut I ever got… Yes my hair are looking somewhat like those of sameer, who himself models the early nineties hair cut of Salman Khan.
To protect myself from the jibes of this cruel world now I’ll be sporting a cap for the next two months till the time I make my hair look sane (or insane) again and don’t you dare to ask me to upload a pic on Facebook or remove my cap..!!

Concerns of a Home-Goer

Posted: April 18, 2011 in My Life, Why Me ??

This friday I’m going home… to spend around 2 weeks in Delhi, yeah I’m happy, finally I’m getting a break from this monotony of routine (though I’m much more umm… call it indisciplined compared to the years I spent at home). But more than that I’m concerned.. concerned about a lot of things.

To begin with the worst of my fears, I haven’t got a haircut in months, my hair are untidy and growing in every possible dimension, somewhere deep down my heart I know that for sure my mum is gonna ask me for a haircut, and when I’ll decline she’ll compare it to a lot of petty people ranging from… lets not go there 🙂 and the worse fear of all… what if even Big B came to her aid.. no matter what I’ll stood up to them, at least I’ll try to 😦
Finally after living like a parasite on my dad’s hard earned money, I’m earning now… but what if anybody asked me for my bank account… with Big B its cool.. but what if dad asked me what I’ve saved till date, or worse.. what’s my current liquidity status… I don’t want to lie.. better i avoid any discussion about bills, salary, rent, expences or anything that could bring up this topic.

Then there are those friends and juniors asking for treat… well I’ve succeded on past few occassions in delusioning them, giving many excuses.. hope it works this time too.. else a few grands at max, not a big deal but still a concern for my already ill spent pocket.
And yeah the pic I accidently uploaded on facebook, the one in which I’m puffing a hukka beaming with joy, taking pride on the amount of smoke i puffed out, well mama wasn’t cool after seeing that… though i convinced her on phone that I don’t smoke and this is for the first time ever I tried this stuff on dandeli picnic…  kya maa, sab log pics ke liye pose maar rahe the, aap bhi naa.. but what if she still remembers that pic, or what if something remind her of it… nooo.. I don’t want that long streak of lectures again.. 🙂

To add a few more – I fear that this haughty and arrogant uncleji who’s son works at Styam might encounter me or worse what if my dad asked me to go and met him… I’ll better go alone wander a few minutes in some park and come back to tell dad that he wasn’t home.. yes it’ll work
Also I don’t want to visit my masi..  no i don’t… please I want to rest in peace at my own home, with my parents, will met my friends, but no.. i just don’t want to met ya… 😦 but as always i know she’ll cook up some plan to make me visit her place… I like her and her kids, but please i want to stay home…

And the final one – I am concerned that what if me and my bro are to buy something again, specially some electronics stuff… i don’t want a Nehru place part 2 😉

I think it’s about time for me to make fun of people again for the reasons where they tend to be smart and end up looking like a fool. I kinda love it sometimes.

I do experiment a lot, from my drinks to books i read to the places i eat at. And this time its this stupid  jungle they call Online Dating. Here are a few of my latest emails received. Oh how I love seeing the English language being slaughtered. Le Sigh..
(on a serious note – don’t you people dare judge mine, i just torture it in return of the hundred years of being in shackles of British empire, else i’m too good at it). Well coming back to the Dating mails..

mademoiselle #1: you seem nice get back if your interested.

A quick glance at her profile reveals that she’s some US based 29 something “women” and as a career she wrote: “I work about 60 hours about in Software. i’m happy with my life”. That’s all she says and the only answer to the typical “About Me” stuff she gave was her salary.

First of all I’d like to know how I seem nice when you’ve never spoken to me. You can’t really judge niceness based on a written profile, especially not one that’s to the point and cynical, like mine is. That would be like me telling her that she seems loud. Which she does, what with all the yelling and such.

Also what the hell does “about 60 hours about in Software” mean? You work close to 60 hours kind of with something resembling Software? You work 60 hours a week? A month? A pay-period? Who the hell cares how many hours you work I’m not “interested”.

NEXT!

mademoiselle #2: do u have a Facebook account? gmail at least ?

While I’m at it, can I just give you my address? We haven’t exchanged 5 words and you want me to give you all my online social accounts? What kind of person sees this message and thinks; “gosh he/she sure did put in a lot of effort to obtain a personal bit of information from me, I should definitely give him/her a chance.”

So, giving her a chance, I looked at her profile and find these tantalizing tidbits: I am sexxy, energetic, and easy going. I am 22 female 5’4 and looking for friends and more. i am adventurous and always looking to try new things.

Good thing you’re sexxy and not just sexy because I never date girls who are “only one x” sexy.

Moving on!

mademoiselle #3: HI! I am nice good looking indian girl based in Bangalore who is looking for some fun.

If you’re so good-looking why don’t you have a picture up? Also, telling a normal guy you’re looking for some fun = telling that you are a whore who just want to talk. Or something along those lines. or else maybe you are experimenting it just like me.
My backwards analogies always make sense in my mind.

On the positive side of life, I met a very nice, good-looking, sexxy girl at a friend’s party last month. We hung out all night, dancing and chatting. Unfortunately at the end of the night a stupid friend of mine got into a fight (How old are we boys?) with some other guy and I was dragged out of the party by bouncers before getting the chance to exchange numbers with my pretty companion of the night.

May be I should have left a shoe like Cinderella… Well guys can have their share of fantasies too..!!