Archive for the ‘My Life’ Category

Something I wrote a while back but never posted on my blog 
—————————————————————
  Originally written on: May 24, 2011
—————————————————————

I am a maniac about making lists. I am writing this post because I thought I want to have a list of qualities to look for in a girl when I get married.

To give you an idea about my obsession with lists, let me tell you I have a:

  • Things to do list.
  • Things to buy/shopping list.
  • Places in the world I want to visit list.
  • Things I want to dabble with (non-serious) list, e.g. teaching, singing etc.
  • Possible (serious) career options list, e.g. food critic, cricket-umpiring, literature critic etc.
  • Girls I’m in love with. No examples here, Its just a singleton set :)
  • People I want to kill list. Again no examples here.

and so on and so forth the list of my lists is kinda endless. I guess you have got a grip…

So let me start with the various factors to be taken into consideration while deciding on the girl, hope to get some volunteers to help me out in my search…

1) Should be good looking: good looking enough that people think “How did he get a girl like her?” or “He must be rich!!”, but not so good looking that she is vain about it.

2) Should write and speak good English: good spelling, grammar (because I suck at it) and pronunciation : good enough that I don’t feel like gouging out my eyes or cutting off my ears when she writes or speaks, but not so good that she can’t / won’t speak in Hindi.

3) Should not be very religious: religious / spiritual enough as to believe in God (atheists/agnostics are fine too), but not so religious that every festival has to be celebrated by doing puja/going to temples.

4) Should have a good financial sense: good enough that she knows when to splurge and when to be a miser, but not so good that when she talks money I feel like a 6 year old getting a quantum mechanics lecture.

5) Should be intelligent: intelligent enough as to carry on a conversation with, without me thinking “Death has got to be easier than this”, but not so intelligent that her IQ is more than her weight (in pounds, relax! — I’m assuming a 50 – 55 kg girl here).

6) Should be well-read: enough so that she knows who J.R.R. Tolkien is, but not so well-read that she could moonlight as a librarian.

7) Should have a good general knowledge: (current affairs / history / geography / sports / movies / music) :
History / geography: good enough that she knows what/where Angkor Wat is, but not so good that she wrote / could write its Wikipedia article.
Movies: good enough that she knows who Christopher Nolan is, but not so good that she tells me what was wrong with “The Dark Knight”.
Sports: good enough that she knows who Narain Karthikeyan is, but not so good that she knows who the F1 world champion was in 1967.
Music: good enough that she knows who Vanessa Mae is (I’m really lucky if anyone passes this test ;) ), but not so good that she knows Yanni’s real name and the difference between a soprano, mezzo-soprano and contralto (yes, I had to google the last one)

8) Should be responsible: responsible and independent enough that she can do the chores on her own, but not so independent that she would rather do them on her own.

9) Should be polite: polite enough that people enjoy talking to her, but not so polite that they can treat her
like a doormat and get away with it. Polite so that people are not scared of her & enjoy her company and non-diplomatic so that she can express her opinions articulately . Some one who says that “I didn’t enjoy that place” rather than saying “This place sucks!!!!!!!”.

10) Should be adventurous: adventurous enough so as to try out new types of food, activities, places to see but not so adventurous that she could be on Woman-vs-wild.

11) Should have an active lifestyle: active enough that on weekends she wants to do something more than just doze, but not so active that she is the energy train and I am (reluctantly) on board. (extra points for getting this reference)

12) Should not be a prude: should have a naughty streak and shouldn’t be afraid to show it.

13) [Most Important] Should make me a better person: by inspiring me or reasoning with me, making an argument I can’t refute, and not by making me feel guilty for who I am.

P.S. If she looks like Charlize Theron, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Natalie Portman or Yvonne Strahovski, all the above points are moo(t).
P.P.S. If you think I am a misogynist for making such a list, please read the words in brackets of the title of this post again, this is my personal preference, this is who/how I am and I am not sorry for it.

——————————————————————————————
P.P.P.S.  This is an old post contents may/may not be valid now

The One With the Nomination

Posted: January 28, 2012 in My Life, Why Me ??

My rather slow response to my Versatile Blogger nomination!

Apart from academics, I guess this is the first nomination I’ve got for something, and so far I’ve been nominated thrice. Well finally people find me worthy of something, a Versatile Blogger nomination, despite all the grammatical errors… damn I so much wish to see the face of my high school English teacher, she used to hate me so much, well the feelings were mutual… 🙂

Anyways, when I was notified of the award for the first time a couple of months back by Rhyming Med Student , my first reaction was to search and search in an attempt to find out its origin and determine if it was legitimate all ? What makes it so special if everyone gets them by the sheer fact that when 1 person receives the award, they nominate 15 more?  It’s like a pyramid scheme with nothing at stake.
But later I realized in the world full of Facebook ‘likes’, ‘retweets’ and ‘+1s’ this award allows us to spend some time and honor our fellow bloggers… It is a way to show that we respect them and we like what they have to say.

Well , I’m not a rule follower… generally, but I guess here I’ll try to stick to the rules, So the versatile blogger nomination require following rules to be followed:
1) Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them in your post;
2) share 7 random things about yourself;
3) pass the award on to 15 more bloggers that you enjoy;
4) post the versatile blogger logo in the post; and
5) contact the bloggers you have chosen to let them know that they have been selected! 

So, I’ll begin with a note of thanks to the fellow bloggers for nominating me:

1. The Rhyming Med Student
2. Ren
3. Radhika Gupta 

thank you for including me on your list!  If I could nominate the person who nominated me, you guys would be right at the top, specially Ren, her blog is indulging, witty and innocent. She shares all things that she loves, hates, goes through… an adorable blog in my opinion.

Now, for the 7 random things about me:

1. I’m a book worm, I can pass any concert, party, treat, movie, sport for reading any piece of writing I love. I’ve read LOTR at least a dozen times, and still spend most of my leisure time laying in my bed, reading. And to add.. I hate e book readers, tried both kindle and ipad but nothing beats the smell of a hard cover and the sound of flipping pages.
2. I’m a foodie (veg though) and in particular, I love Rasmalai , I can never have enough of it, sometimes even dream of it!!
3. This is my third blog, and in past I’ve deleted my two blogs in stupid fits of anger (poor lifeless creatures 🙂 victimized of someone else’s deeds), and each time I end up dropping a mail to wordpress support asking for the “Ways to retrieve back my Blog”.
4.  I lie… not a lot, but yes time to time i do lie… to my friends, to my parents, had to lie to my teachers in college… I’ve lied to them all.. well maintaining a good guy image is a tough job these days 😀
5. I’ve a certain degree of fascination for mafia and gangsters, I love the Bad guy image. Pulp fiction, Scarface, Goodfellas, Godfather are some of my all time favorite movies , I hated it when Light Yagami died in Death Note.. screw the victory of good!!
6. I love to keep things in order, say my room, my wardrobe, folders in my laptop… everything in the right place, don’t know if there is a medical term for it, but it’s like an obsession. Anyways sometimes it helps, specially with the female folk, never feel short of compliments.
7. I’m scared of dogs… not a general fear, a nightmarish fear, and It was heightened when one random day my friend’s Dog called ‘Johnny’ decided to feast on my right arm, I didn’t visit his place for at least a couple of years after it, btw Johnny’s gone now (RIP)… and I’m at ease visiting him once again 🙂

And now for my nominations for the Versatile Blogger

1) Thought’s in Play – Sugandha’s vibrant blog, one of my favourite… It’s full of everything  – articles, stories, poems, one liners, jokes, bad jokes, thoughts, philosophy… a True Versatile Blogger!!

2) Life’s About Experiences – A sweet ‘good girl’ blog, always optimistic, positive and humble.

3) Snigdha’s Blog – I like it for the honesty of it, all emotions right from heart, plus she reads (I guess a lot) too..!!

4) Bindu Blogs – funny and ruthless, got a great eye for the smallest things you can find humor in.

5) Inspired – Poetry right from heart, still wonder who’s behind the inspiration for ‘zave-inspired’ 🙂

6) Akinyiviv – She simply deserves it..!!

7) Meet APSC – Wish he write more often, an itsty bitsy writer… barely posts anything, still love his posts.

8) It’s My Thoughts – Princess Laila, that’s how she’s known, love her blog.

9) World of Dreams“Mon journey au zenith du monde” Really a versatile one, from poems, to reviews to personal musings… I love his blog, but like few others mentioned above, off late he’s neglecting his blog too 🙂

 

Well, I couldn’t think of a total 15, seems like another rule in the breaking… 🙂

I want to die a Kurt Cobain, or hypothetically a Jack Dawson…

Irony, I can’t do either, I can’t sing and play a guitar like cobain, well neither could I pull a Dawson.. I failed at that front too. No regrets for not dying a Cobain, I never tried those shoes on, but yeah I had my fair share of luck for the latter, no accusations, I blew it up.
Sitting here in my balcony at 1 A.M. in night, watching the few BPO cabs dropping people off at this odd hour of working, It feels like being one of those crazy people staring gloomily at the world, being clueless of what you want from it, or what it want from you…

Sometime I accuse people of being two faced, but off late I feel that I’m the biggest two faced liar of them all, I joke around, attend parties, listen to people, call my mom everyday, talk cool to my brother, and the time I disconnect the phone, I smile to myself.. you pulled it off nicely bud. You crack up some exam, and people congratulate for it, the siblings look up to you, and they say all the good things, but deep down you are thinking, you mug up a couple of months, get some score in some Exam… Big Deal ?? Maybe… but what next.. Still you are the left alone, A fellow sitting alone on such a beautiful night, even the beauty scares you, you feel gloomy, for some unknown reasons.

I ate up some 12 chocolates today, watched entire 11 episodes of The Big Bang Theory without a single smile, listened to the Gothic rock on my iPod. A wonderful laid back Saturday, and still I’m uneasy. “Smile and let the world smile with you” I read in a blog I just started following, Smile… sounds so simple, feels so hard, I can make the world smile, some silly jokes, some witty chit chats, a small hang out with friends, I laugh, mix up well, and by the time you are back to your place, again the same haunting feelings, the same unexplained despair, a feeling of letting people down. I don’t know what I want from life, I have a nice job, money to buy stuff & pay all my bills, still have a decent saving, even that don’t please me any longer. I lack something, I have a longing for something, something even I don’t know, like something is missing, something big. I have stopped writing, haven’t read a book since long, I returned that book I borrowed unread.
Alcohol has stopped pleasing me, it seems to have no effect any longer, the void is getting bigger, more like a pain, I just don’t know what I want. Yesterday I called up my whole friend group in college, even some old school friends, everyone is so normal, so satisfied, so happy, and I’m all left alone searching for that something missing… and I couldn’t even talk about it. I hope, for my own sake, maybe everyone goes through such phases, and just like me they  just don’t talk about it, and looking at them It looks like it passes.

And as I’m writing this, I realize it’s not sudden, it’s like building up inside me for some time, having it’s highs and lows. I’m amazed at how people behave at times, the ease with which they are happy, just because their cell phones have a processor 3%  faster than mine, or just because they grabbed a good deal at the Winter Sale, or because new Android phone is in market, or because they get free pizzas at office all hands, or because they are one of the 100 thousand employees of a company, or because Amitabh bacchan retwitted them. They say happiness can be found in small things, maybe petty is a synonym for small, but still I don’t feel happy for these things, a momentary smile forced into a laughter, but no happiness.
The last time I was home, while coming back I wanted to cry, I felt sad, deeply sad, but tears failed me, even the time my brother dropped me at the Airport I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I fail to express my emotions, I haven’t called Prateek yet, I so much wanted to, but I don’t have the courage, all the creativity fails me before dialing the number, I fail to build up the words of condolences and courage. That day a friend called me after her CAT result, and I feel stupid over the conversation with her, she wanted someone to talk to, and I let her down with some stupid blabber. I wish I could start it all over, I so much wish to be the normal sane, merry guy, but no luck yet.

The world smiles curled in bed
and I sit, listening to the traffic
feeling a void, an urge to cry
and tears failing me, the skies
above conspiring to tear me
and I’m sitting and listening
to a faded song I detest, for
it sounds of merry and hope
you’d ask me why I’m so vain
& then again I’ll fail to explain
all this void and all the pain.

A funny thought just creeped in, maybe I’m going crazy like that Robert de Niro character in Taxi Driver, hah.. had I been home and told this to my mom, she would’ve cast a curfew on the Movies and Internet, lucky she’s not here else she would’ve been worried about this. But no, I’m not crazy, not yet, not the homicidal maniac turning on an automatic weapon on innocent people on a crowded traffic signal… I still find the thought of standing in front of a mirror and pulling out a gun and saying ‘you talkin’ to me?’ funny.


Boy Meets Girl

Posted: October 29, 2011 in My Life, The One with a Twist

Yesterday, still on my vacation in Delhi I was sitting with three of my friends in Haldiram’s at Cannaught Place, eating my favourite Rasmalai, damn I just couldn’t resisit it, I know its fatty with bare minimum nutritious value, Still… :)

The place was almost empty, leave apart some guys-only groups and some random average looking couples. And there were these three people sitting next to us on a table… An Uncle, an Aunty and THE Girl… the parents were all tensed up and silent, and the girl was just texting someone non stop, no one uttered a single word. A few moments later few more people joined in… couple of Uncles, two more aunties and THE Boy, clad in a white shirt, not so handsome… just average boy next door… pleasantries exchanged… The girl had excused herself for the washroom just before this new lot of middle aged people walked in.
Both pair of parents were busy impressing the other. THE Boy was being interviewed in a civilized manner, education, hobbies, this and that… and then walked in in THE Girl… more pleasantries, THE Boy looked at THE girl, THE girl looked at THE boy, and there was this divine connection, speechless… faces turning Red, all middle aged hearts surrounding them were ready to give their blessings to the ‘to-be’ couple.
Now it was the Boy’s turn to do the Texting, nervously… spreading the good word to his friends..!!
Strangely, they didn’t look up at each other after that one ‘divine’ connection.
As per trend after 10-15 minutes the grown ups all stood up to go and place the order (its a self service restaurant) leaving the ‘potential’ couple in each other’s company…

The couple was left there smiling at each other, they talked a little bit, which unfortunately we weren’t able to hear (good for them :D ). Anyways the parents returned some 15 minutes later with the eatries, and we concentrated on our rasmalais too..!!

Once done, the Girl’s Dad asked the Boy “To beta kaisi lagi Leena tumnhe” [“So, Son how do you find our girl.. you like her?”]

Seriously what the heck was he expecting to hear back… even if he liked her he won’t say on face, well at least thats what they show in movies :D , well I must say the Boy was indeed smart he elbowed his mum with a grim face, gazes exchanged, and luckily the Auntyji got it… “Guptaji hume to sab accha laga, baki ghar par thoda discuss karke aapko batate hain” [“Well Sir we liked your family and your daughter, we just need to go home and discuss and we’ll let you know”]
Sharp mommy I must say… similar thing happened with my elder brother’s friend once, the girl happened to be a bit healthy (read 75 kgs) compared to his lean structure (65 approx), and unluckily his mum got the elbow all wrong, thinking it a nod of approval, congratulating the girl’s parents instantly, what happened in the following days deserves a separate blog post for itself.

Anyways coming back to our Boy and Girl, the Girl’s dad insisted to pay the Bill and they left again with some more pleasantries..

Once they were gone the uncles and aunties surrounded the Boy, all with close-up smiles

“Beta kaisi lagi ladki, tumhari mummy ko aur mujhe to badi pasand aayi” [“So how was the Girl,, me and your mum find her really lovely”]

“Family bhi acchi hai” [“Even the Girl’s family is good too”] the mother added adjusting her specs.
And the Boy was smiling now, shaking his head

“Beta sharmao mat bolo bhi” [“Don’t feel shy, come on say it”] Added the Uncleji accompanying the family.

All the eyes were on the BOY… even the few people sitting nearby were looking eagerly.

“Papa aap vo mere dost ko jante ho… Sahil” [“Hey Dad, have you met that friend of mine… the guy named Sahil”]

“Haan vahi garments shop wale Gupta ji ka ladka” [“Yeah the one who’s dad owns a Garments Store”]
“Haan vahi, ye Leena usi Sahil ki Girl friend hai, ladki dekhne jane se pehle kam se kam photo to manga liya karo”
[ “yeah the same one, this Girl is the same guy’s Girlfriend, At least do ask for the Girl’s picture before arranging a meeting next time” ]

And the four of us burst into a fit of Laughter, the Boy stared us for a moment, winked and then started grinning himself… the parents were all staring.. open mouthed..!!

P.S. Strange coincidences do occur in life..!!
P.P.S. If you are a parent with a son/daughter eligible for marriage, please don’t arrange to meet up at crowded public places, you might end up being the subject of some whimsical blogger like me.. :D

The Journey Back Home..!!

Posted: October 22, 2011 in My Life, Why Me ??

Ahhaa I’m back in Delhi, exactly after 2 months and 12 Days… and God knows how much I longed for this much awaited vacation, this is festive season and even a thought of staying away from my family at this time of the year is horrifying enough.
Indeed this time it’s different, got the heavenly wordings from my manager before leaving “Go and enjoy your vacations”, I’m damn sure something big is lined up as soon as I’m back… well we’ll see to that.

And as usual it was all hectic for me… stuffed my bag just in the morning, locked my door, forgot the laptop charger inside, came back from ground floor, and to add to the trouble the elevator wasn’t working.
Well the travel was engaging and interesting, came across  the most sober, gentle and down to earth IIM graduate (calcutta passout, oops Kolkata), he’s a Program Manager in Microsoft only, a 2007 passout from my own alma mater DCE, maybe that was the reason he was that cool with me, indeed he was warm in mannerism, someone i’ll definitely like to meet again.

And I had a rickety flight too… the take off itself reminded me of the Pilot Episode of Lost, plus all the turbulence, the dimming lights and the panic stricken crew… loved the tension in there, later got to know that the co-pilot was a women (no offence ladies… :P ). Unlike my usual self, this time I had a little chat with my co-passenger, some guy from Infosys, he was working on this ‘I Diya’ B plan, which was indeed Impressive. And to my surprise almost 50% of the on-boarded people were from Microsoft, there were too many familiar faces, Windows 7 phones, and all the Red backpacks with the Microsoft Logo, and not only Microsoft, rest 30% contribution was definitely from Deloitte, the Dell Laptops stuffed in ugly HP bags.

And then this Metro Station at Rajeev Chowk (a.k.a. Cannaught Place)… the security guys, took my luggage aside, the typical haryanvi accented guys, while my brother was already waiting for me at Kashmiri Gate, how much I cursed the decision of not asking him to come and pick me up from Airport, well what was done was done. And the cop began in his own ruthless tone, well the Delhi Police is notorious for this.

“Haan bhai ke hai isme, koi electrical samaan hai ke?”
“Umm… nothing that I know of, just  some clothes and gifts”
“koi baat ni, hum dekh lenge… ure ne aaja, khol de bag”
< Here joins in the Sub Inspector, or whoever he was had two stars on this uniform>
“ke baat hai harbir… ??”
“Is bhai ke bag me kuch samaan hai”
<Oh hell It’s a bag , it will obviously have ‘some stuff’>
“Haan to khulva le”
<How much I wanted to tell him my brother is a Section Officer in Home Ministry #WeIndians… :P >
“Kahan te aaya bhai”
“Err… hyderabad”
“Tere bag pe to  airport ka tag hai, metro me chada hai tu Rajeev chowk te”
“Actually I had to meet a friend”
<By this time the junior cop was done with an autopsy of my Travelling bag, Inside out>
“Is gift wrap me ke hai”
“Biscuits and cookies”
“Hyderabad te tu bas ‘Biskut’ leke aaya hai”
and the three of them (by this time one more had joined in) had this big laugh.
“Well there is this famous karachi bakery in hyderabad its muffins and cookies are very famous”

By this time the constable opened up aside zipper and brought out the magnetic card reader I was carrying.

All breaks on their laughter, the senior one spoke ” Yu ke hai chore… detonator “
WTF… did those morons even know what a detonator looks like..
“Well this isn’t a detonator, its just a simple card reader, i use it to connect to my office network and do a remote login on office machines”
I guess, the technicality pissed them off a big time.
“Andar aaja chore, checking lo re iske”
Now this was getting bit too much… I was irritated too…
“I’m an engineer and I work in a pretty big company, you better be careful”
“Haan to engineer hai to checking na lein teri”
Now it was way too much, I was agitated all i did was pick out my phone and called my brother, to hell with the cellular networks… I didn’t had a signal.. now what..??
The cops were even more pissed off by this new gesture of mine, and I was dreading all those movies, where the cops pick up the innocents, and kill them off in fake encounters… no I’m just kidding, I was just irritated at their stupidity.
It was bit chaotic so some suited up metro guy just came in, was in mid forties, looked quite decent, he asked what all that fuss is about, I tried to explain it to him, luckily he was smart, he smiled and called the Chief Security Officer.

The Security Officer came in, good lord his cousin was an Engineer and he knew about Card Readers and the Remote Login, he smiled and patted my shoulder..
“Sorry kid, but you know… the kind of eligibility criteria we’ve for being a cop, they are not bad, just ignorant, So where do you work”
By this time all hopes of expecting an enlightened cop in Delhi was gone..
“Hyderabad”
“I mean Which Company ?”
“Microsoft”
“Ohh cool… kinect was great hit, windows phone was dismal though how’s windows 8 coming… ? “
I was dumbfounded… this dude did know all about it (and he wasn’t some ACP, just a sub inspector) , and was able to communicate in fluent English too… he started it I didn’t :D

Guess all cops aren’t stone..!!
I had a small chat with him for a few minutes, and moved towards the metro line to Kashmiri Gate..
In and all it proved out to be a happening day..!!

Back home, as expected I was greeted with a small and affectionate lecture on the state of my hair… “acche gharon ke bacche aise baal nahi rakhte”, the battle continued till today and finally I got the nod of approval after this ‘no-pony’ treaty. Plus my mum cooked some wonderful stuff for me, home cooked food is one of the biggest things I miss in Hyderabad :(. The MTNL broadband connection sucks even more now. Well as for another update on vacations, tomorrow I have this school get together to attend and I’m really looking forward to meet some old pals, some of which I haven’t seen since years.
Plus its festive season so I guess Monday will be spent in shopping only… :)

I hate being sick, specially being down with ‘nonfatal’ sickness. And currently I’m just more than ‘kind of’ sick… This common cold, which is really ‘common’ for me (every couple of months I’ve an encounter with the bitch..), plus this slight fever… 100, 100.5, 99.5, 100.5.. and constant headache, its kind of the worst feeling ever .I’m feeling dizzy, and yuck unhygienic… and unfortunately the doctor has asked me to avoid shower in evening… 😦
Plus I had to go to office… 😦 and trust me when you have to spend time in a peaceful office, full of clattering of the keyboard keys and some discussions, it never lets you down in making your presence felt…. aaaakkchhuuuuu..!! followed by a couple more… no matter how much you rub your nose… no respite from it..

And the icing on the cake are meetings you have to attend, breathing through your open mouth… making your manager feel that you’re dumbstruck with awe and fascination on hearing his thoughts.. “Some of you are left open mouthed after hearing my ideas, please oblige us by closing them”. damn you.. running nose… and then you have to ask someone about some work you are stuck on… you enter the cabin of some gentleman, peaceful and calm, and he’s polite enough to explain the solution to your problem… and just then you have this tingling sensation… you hold your breath.. no use, wahaa you’ve a handkerchief… oops forgot it on your seat… NOW WHAT NOW WHAAA… AAAKChooo… (I almost sneezed and blabbered even I don’t know what in varunkum’s cubicle today… sorry sir if you noticed :(, I wasn’t myself…). I don’t know any embarrassment can match this..

Or well… being in middle of a design discussion, and like always.. all hells are breaking loose again.. you want to blow your nose… ( with a dynamite, and I guess a few might’ve done it, had there been any possibility of growing it back… well no one will like to live like a skeltor’s gaping nose for the rest of his life… ), and yeah you are in middle of a design discussion and want to blow your nose… and you are honest enough to call it out like…
“err… can I go out to blow my nose ?”
“you what” asks some gentle lady… and trust me its always a lady to ask this..
“can i go out to blow my nose”  and now you really start cursing yourself for being honest.. why the hell didn’ t I said I wana go to the loo… or just pretended a phone call.
“you want to blow what?”  here comes the pranksters..
and now you can’t hold it any longer…“I’M GOING OUT TO BLOW MY NOSE”
“phew… then go ahead who’s stopping you…”  the gentle lady comments amidst smiles and giggles from fellow team mates. and at these times I sincerely want her to be the next victim of this ‘common’ cold.
and then in 2 minutes later you are back… and the discussion proceeds, two minutes into it, and the trouble returns… and this time you can’t even say it out loud.. all you have to do is to bear it with few tissues, and god’s grace if you can contain it within 2-3 sneezes only.

And to worsen your situation, you get a cough too, yeah it comes in package… and it makes you feel so untidy and unhygienic, coughing, spitting out…eww… :(. Sometimes they (read managers) say one must make his presence felt in the team… for the past two days, I’m doing the same… coughing and sneezing.. breaking the silence, making people look out for me while walking (obviously to avoid me), and yeah how can’t I be a team player in a condition like this… I’ve transmitted the viruses to my colleague, who sits next to me.. and to see her walking in the alley cuz she too was feeling “uneasy” was the only respite… at least I’m not the only one… 😉

P.S. Don’t you dare look down upon me as sick little kid, this post is jinxed. Before feeling pity on me… i just want you to know that the Gods (or Devils) of Running noses are watching ya..!!

======================
Editing after 8 hours of posting:

P.P.S. Dr. Alka Sharma is already feeling that she’s ” also cming down wid smthing” after calling me a cry baby on Facebook… so don’t you dare laugh off the warning in P.S.

Irrelevant Bullet Points

Posted: October 1, 2011 in My Life

I want to write. A lot. But something is stopping me. I feel bad, depressed, and nothing good is coming to my mind, have tried to write on a different things, but nothing is making sense these days. May be this is something what they call ‘Writer’s Block’. Moreover my speculations of abandoning this blog is scaring a hell lot out of me. I remember back in college a lot of my friends used to write a blog, or at least a diary, and now… everything is gone.
Getting nothing to pen down I think I will write irrelevant bullet points and try to get out of this… umm what to call… ‘Phase’ :

  • Been watching movies on HBO, Sony Pix, etc these days, have seen almost all of these before, still liking them.
  • Playing a lot of Online poker these days, up to the level of obsession… once even commented that poker is the ‘Best Game ever created by human race’.
  • We had some poker plans last night at Abhay’s place and I backed out at the last moment, stayed in office till midnight working on this new Windows 8 app me and Ravi are making. I think we’ve done some decent work on this comic book reader, only for the customer feedback to suggest something else.
  • I’m ‘available’ on yahoo chat after a long time and chatting with my schoolmate who is in London. How he became hard working after 12th is a puzzle that cannot be solved.
  • Forgot to call my mum last night, and she was way too freaked out… mums are melodramatic sometimes… period..!!
  • I’m listening to good music…. or at least I consider it Good.
  • I want to read. Non-fiction, preferably. I have read a lot and still want to read more… this hunger will never end.
  • Finally I have quit chocolates and Ice creams, will be working out regularly from now on…  <I’m not fat I’ll be Working out for muscles not to loose weight>
  • I’m fed up with people looking upto me, specially my college juniors. Maybe I’m good in a few things, still I’m just a simple guy, who happens to work at some good software company, and is kinda good at coding and algorithms.. the way they set their expectations from me, makes me feel nervous.
  • Since past three days hooked onto ‘Iron Maiden’ and ‘Porcupine Tree’ completely.
  • Won’t be doing any outdoor activity this weekend, just stretch my legs, relax, read a little and sleep… as much as I can.
  • It’s October… and I CAN SMELL DIWALI… I LOVE THIS TIME OF THE YEAR… 😀 😀

Alas, its been a year..!!

Posted: June 21, 2011 in Hyderabad, My Life

Today I completed my one year at Microsoft… one good year?? I’m not sure… may in some sense it was good, may be it wasn’t.
There are a lot of things I learned in last one year, some technical, some professional and some lessons at the personal front. Last night at 12.00 A.M. I got the congratulations mail for completing one year, and I was kind of overwhelmed… wow its been a year, a really VERY LONG year indeed. A lot of things happened in past one year, left few friends, met a few new ones and maybe some of these will be with me till my mere existence. Forgot a few people, got forgotten, had a huge number of treats, few very funny incidents, some serious fiascoes (like the pune trip, suhas’s b’day), had first hand experience of how it feels to eat at five stars, attended a few bachelor parties, promotion parties and even break-up treats 🙂

As one of my colleague Jayesh once said “For you one year is gonna be equal to a five years” and yes upto some extent  he was true in saying that. There were a lot of things where I did wonderfully good (Hope my manager acknowledges that..) some things where I might have performed better. But I would say these was a lot of lessons I learned in this last one year (on my first job)… learned to spend whole nights in office coding :P, whole nights in office watching movies in conference rooms (hoping that is not a HR violation, well yeah it is..), dining at all hands of other teams, made a few good south Indian friends (well yeah they are cool in their own way), witnessed how to take credit of some one else’s work, how to gain importance by dropping colorful mails, and witnessed the coolest of the techies doing their cool stuff in their own fancy world where algorithms dance and designs sings. Well one thing i missed… Innocence, well I might be wrong in expecting it at a workplace where you are to be reviewed at the end of the year for your work, its impact, but just like pretty chicks its also a rarity at Microsoft.. maybe I was too naive in expecting this at first hand..!!

What else… umm.. I feel old, yeah the fresh batch of college recruits just joined yesterday, and interns are already here, some of whom even call me “Akshay Sir”,  well somehow I feel responsible and Old, and yeah even if I have to update my CV now it”ll have a section reading… Work Ex.. June 2010- present: at Microsoft doing…xyz…
and yeah I’m also eligible to spend two grands on a dinner/lunch and claim reimbursement for it… well I already spent it this afternoon itself..

But yeah, Microsoft is a great place to work, I might say one of the best… It’s been a great (Experience) being here.

8 years ago. It was the living room of a quiet house in New Delhi, India. Seated there, at the edge of their seats, were three young guys (class 11th students) in their teens. The tension in the room was palpable. Their eyes were glued to the TV. As an outside observer, I know the reader has questions. What is so gripping about the old-fashioned girl-on-girl porn they are watching? Are these teens anxious to find out whether the older girl is able to properly teach the younger girl how to satisfy her boyfriend?
It was the commoner’s first encounter to the term “PORN’, being an IIT aspirant that time, he was curious enough to accept the Indecent Proposal of group study that night, and the Geniuses being Geniuses after all, were familiar even with the ‘cast name’ and the ‘production house’.

Interrupting the enchanting pop sound-track of the movie, spoke Genius_1, “Do you think we will be able to finish the movie before your parents return?” Genius_2 chimed in, “Yeah, I guess we should fast forward a bit?”

Commoner pointed to the women on TV, who, by that time, were moaning at a pitch attainable only by Vampire bats, and said, “The movie can’t be much longer. It’s only 8:50. Your Mom and dad wont’ be back before 9.30 We will have enough time to finish the movie and create a scene of day long studies before they arrive.”

Noticing the discomfort on their faces, Genius_2 explained his master plan. “Listen, If I hear them at the main door, I will run and intercept them. I will buy you enough time to retrieve the CD out of the VCD player and hide it in my room. It’s as simple as that.” Reassured they went back to watching the tangle of limbs on the screen and trying to figure out whose hand is doing what to which body part.

The reassurance lasted for about 5 minutes until the TV screen went blank. As darkness descended in the room, their hearts stopped with the realization that the power just went out. “Holy shit!” shouted one of them, “How the hell are we going to get the CD out of the VCD Player?” Another guy chose a stronger swear word, more appropriate for the occasion, and proceeded to repeat it with different stress each time. “Fuck fuck fuck…” Out of this chaos boomed the nonchalant voice of Commoner, “Guys let’s not panic. We are Smart aspiring Engineers. We can take the VCD player apart in 2 minutes and get the CD out.”

At any other time Genius_1 and Genius_2 would have sat Commoner down and discussed:
1. How wrong he was when he said “we are aspiring engineers” when there is no hope of their clearing IIT JEE (though they all did eventually :))
2. How opening up VCD Player is not remotely connected to JEE preparation.
3. How they would love to kick Commoner in the nuts for not panicking. But they didn’t,because opening the VCD Player was the best idea at that time (afterall he’s commoner relative to them only :P)

With impressive speed the VCD Player was opened. It didn’t take them too long to figure out that VCD players are not like candy boxes which you open and grab whatever you want from them. In fact, the “Star Whores Episode IV” was locked in some intricate mechanism which was difficult to study in the candlelight. At which point Genius_1 asked, “Guys, don’t you think it would look more suspicious if we are caught with an open VCD Player? How would we explain it?” With this new insight into the situation the it was assembled back.

After half an hour, the power did not come back but the parents did. The three teens nervously wandered around the living room hoping the power would be restored before the living room was locked from inside for the night. The power was restored soon after but with one glitch. Genius_2’s mom was immediately heard saying, “Oh good the power’s back. Let me turn off the TV so we can go bed.” Genius_2 sprang to action shouting, “Mom can I talk to you privately in the kitchen?”

It is inconsequential what irrelevant matter Genius_3 discussed in the kitchen or the fact that his mom was heard saying, “OK, but why do we have to talk about it now?”. Nevertheless the video tape was transferred to safety before the discussion ended.

Different people react differently to the same situation.

Genius_1 (currently pursuing his Phd in Human-Computer Interface at Stanford) didn’t stop trembling for a week.
Genius_2 (System Architect for Apple, Cupertino, California) asked later that night, “Those girls were amazing. Do you think we can manage to see it again tomorrow?”
The Commoner just blogged about it 8 years later.

Its been almost an year in Hyderabad, and I just witnessed my first discriminatory conversation last week. Though it was a funny chit chatter between friends over lunch but still…
The scene consists of me and few of my friends (Nick, Anna (as we fondly call him), megha, rashmi and avanthi) from office sitting in Taj Banjara, waiting for our lunch to be served and like the normal days we were in argument.. (gosh some people can’t keep company even for 5 minutes without a debate :()

Anna: You Northies …

I interrupted him, raising a stern hand, but Nick cut me short

Nick: (articulating ev.ery syl·la·ble)  I am not a N..o..r..t..h..i..e

Anna: Of course you are

Nick: I am from Nagpur, for God’s sake..

Anna: My point exactly. You are a Northie

Nick: How does that make me a Northie?

Anna: Are you from Andhra, Tamil Nadu, Kerala or Karnataka?

Nick: No..!!

Anna: Therefore you are a Northie. Anybody who is not from the southern 4 states is a Northie. Do I have to make it any clearer?

Nick: That’s a demented logic, you are a moron

Anna: What is wrong with you Northies? A guy from Nagpur claims he is not a Northie. A guy from Bombay is not a Northie. The guy from Delhi is not a Northie nor is the guy from Kolkata. Let me state it for the record, you are all Northies.

Nick: Whatever… North is relative anyway

Anna: That is what every run-of-the-mill wimp says when he knew he completely and miserably lost the argument..

Somehow heroically I came to Nick’s rescue, with the intention of cooling down Anna I started…

Me:  “whatever,” Madrasi..don’t you..

Before I could finish myself, Anna lunged at me in rage, hold my collar and pulled me towards him, his eyes are a foot from mine, his face contorted with anger. (his eyes were saying – didn’t you see any South movies? look what can I do to you)

He mumbled something in a hoarse voice, his spit splattering on his face… lips trembling and said:
” Don’t… ever… call me… a Madrasi. I am from Andhra “

And we all were dumbstruck, with our mouth open..!!