‘Friends’ on Facebook

Posted: March 23, 2011 in Random Bluff

Facebook… connecting people, well thats nokia, but facebook also connects people.. 🙂 in some way… well my cousin sister got connected to my batchmate through it… what else can i say 🙂 plus its the only way I’m connected to people like Abhimanyu Vohra, Vandana Sapra, Alka Sharma (look i mentioned your name again without your permission… you can sue me now 🙂 ) etc.. Its a place where you add upto 300 -1000 people (varying from person, place and net connectivity) under friends categories and will be connecting to only 100-150 at max. What about the rest hundreds ?? Who are all these people ??

So, I’m going to categorize them in these few categories, irrespective of their number in a general facebook user’s profile:

1. True Friends – The true friends, one care about, spent time talking to them, thinking about them… those who matters, those who are a part of your life… and trust me there can’t be more than 30 of them… now one might argue being hyper social and all so lets increase the circle to 50… and for those who satisfy criteria 10 of this post (i.e. they are famous), this number might go upto 100, but not more than that, and in case you still don’t agree… honey, you are damaged, have a break..!!
2.He/She sits in that close by cubicle – The office guys… its very rare to find friends there… what you might get are all colleagues, and not friends… still one day after some team outing, or few words of praise from our manger either one of you end up committing the sin of sending a friend request, and what next… just an increase in a number… 🙂 
3. Oh hell now mamaji is on fb too – WTF… mamaji on FB, and icing on the cake… even sent a friend request…. now I had to accept 😦 and with that the ordeal of using security and privacy settings begins, hiding albums, deleting comments… personally ask me… I’m a victim… my mum is on FB… 😛
4. Smokin’ (Hot girls from other’s Lists) – Well just added one today, was in my brother’s friend list…. some European girl, girlfriend of some gymnastics coach… 🙂 Well not only me, every Male (here i’m counting on true males, not the geek elves ) have a temptation to do so… its separate story that very few end up having the guts to send a request and only a very few end up with requests being accepted… still in everyone’s profile you might find some contribution (single digit) of this species.
5. Fake profiles with sexy profile pics – Now there are these fake profiles too… a popular one being this Neha Sharma with all the friends from top software companies… Microsoft, Google. Amazon… as a special characteristic of these profile, you’ll always find a very cute firang teenager in the profile pic, education – university of delhi… (wonder from where such losers accumulated in Delhi)
6. We studied together (yeah in 2nd standard) – And one day this friend request from Mr. Sandeep or Miss Jyoti… jyoti…jyoti… umm name rings a bell… yeah jyoti.. she was in 2nd standard with me… the pumpkin faced girl with a running nose… so what now, lets add her, rest who cares… and then one day we chat… and nothing more that hi, wassup, ‘aur suna’ …. 🙂
7. Wish he die tomorrow – And there are those too, those who you hate, from the core of your heart, wish them ill… (I’m no saint and i too have such people on my ‘friend’ list… ironic, more that that we wish them birthdays and festivals on facebook too… though here i score personally i don do so, i don’t believe in the social conventions on a social networking site… (so next time i don’t wish u a birthday, you can guess what it meant 🙂 ) though an area to work upon for me – i still comment ‘lovely couple’ no matter how stupid, unmatched  the couple looks like… certainly will like to improve in this area 
8. He used to teach me, now i earn thrice – Not all but some of your teachers/profs can be found on facebook these days… still the same, only you don’t dislike them any more (exceptions do occur… ding dong someone heard of Richa Gupta). They are there and as a rule they’ll never add you, its always our duty to add them… i too have a few in my profile, and its really nice to see your teachers out of the classrooms… kinda ‘thank God they’ve got some life’ (read refreshing)..!!
9. Koi to Sir kahe  – Ranges from College Juniors, Super Juniors, Super Duper Juniors to Company Subordinates, just a means to satisfy our ego… at least there might be someone to say ‘Sir’… at least kisi se to izzat mile... 😛
10. Oh he’s famous –
And there are these celebrities too… some being real profiles, some being fake ones… not only the celebrities, these could range from ‘Miss moonlight’ on annual fest to ‘Mr. Fresher’ and very rare will you talk to them… hardly ones or twice a year, still they are there satisfying the ‘I know him/her… see he’s in my friend list’ 🙂
11. Ye kaam aa sakta hai –
Oh man he’s an alumni… working in MSFT, redmond, and look at that girl she was my girlfriend’s elder sister’s friend, She’s VP Marketing at Apple, better I add her… who knows, maybe one day i might need some help… at least a referral 🙂

Now as an exercise for my readers i would love if at least a few of you could perform a vague classification of your FB friend list in above categories… trust me the fun’ll be worth it

  1. Sanrag says:

    I keep trimming the 7th list though I maintain a softer version of it (wishing them to die is too rude, but there are always ppl u dislike ) 🙂

  2. Akshay Kumar says:

    Hmm… quite aggreable… obviously i wont like them dead, it'll kill all the fun 🙂 , lets change the Title to "Wish he broke his leg tomorrow" 😉

  3. harry says:

    certainly facebook is a mean to express ourself and a pathway to communicate with our lost school/college friends. well done sir u covered almost all the categories, great research work 🙂 (i think u missed one category ………….. ahem ahem, that category surely deserve's place in your blog)

  4. Akshay Kumar says:

    @harry: I didn't miss that because for me its not a 'category'… For me and i think almost for everyone that person is the one and the only one so no categorization 🙂 , and in my case she comes under true friends… 🙂

  5. harry says:

    kya baat hai 🙂 no words to reply back …… bahut dino baad lga koi apna mila, aisa lagta hai kuch purana hai aapse….aap milo bas, baithna hai aapke saath ek din. i will learn alot frm u.

  6. Akshay Kumar says:

    kya baat hai harry… "koi apna mila"… 😛

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