I don want a loan, Stop calling

Posted: January 18, 2011 in Hyderabad, My Life

Sometimes I hate the telephone. The damn thing rings and all I think is: “Who are you and what do you want?!” What you want is for me to answer. Well, forget it. If I wanted to talk to you, I’d be making the call – so knock it off… oh you want to talk to me… well yeah being in this world for 23 years, no one talks  just to talk…

I mean, just what makes you think I want to stop snacking, working, reading, flirting with some random girl, sleeping, fighting off with the so called bugs in my test code, firing off hate mail to so-called political leaders, dodging the broker pounding on the door of my recently occupied apartment or whatever it is I’m doing that’s so much more entertaining than answering your unsolicited call? I don’t and I won’t. And you know it. Yet you insist on dialling my unlisted number for countless stupid and ire-inspiring reasons.

Always with the Hey!! What are you doing crappola. What the hell do you think I’m doing? I’m answering the phone, you moron. Or better yet, you ask who’s-this? Look, Gargoyle, you called me. Figure it out. Or my all-time favourite: with broken english, typical south indian accent ad pathetic English – Hi this is XXXXX XXXXX and I’m calling from here, or there or nowhere, So sir do you want to..…
No. I don’t want to change my telephone service, nor do i need a bank loan, i’m not interested in caller tunes, sales and food festivals (well that’s what i might like but no one calls for it). What I want is your head exploded. The sooner – the better. I know u are doing your job… still i want your head exploded and in return you can want the head of your manager/supervisor exploded. May be the head explosion chain can finally get rid of the mastermind behind this scam…

I hate the telephone and I hate you. Stop calling.

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